Thursday, September 30, 2010


I have spent much of my Christian life, having the idea of Original Sin pounded into my head. I have been convinced, much like many of my Christian brothers and sisters, that we are imperfect, I mean it is forever a part of my URL… But what if there is more to the story? What if there was something greater than this Original Sin? What if Christ came to give more than a ticket to heaven?

From day one we are taught we are imperfect and we are broken, and it is correct, but that’s where it ends. We are broken and Christ has come to set us free, save and restore us. The life I was promised, the life we were promised has been a great disappointment thus far. I was promised peace, and renewal, and grace, but have felt guilt and shame, and condemnation. Whether it is from within, or form others scolding my actions and decisions, I have felt ashamed, and useless and broken. This is not how it was supposed to be.

I learned something and am still trying to learn it, and I mean really learn it. I want more than head knowledge, I want wisdom, and wisdom is in our hearts. I want this idea, this truth to take root in my heart and change me from the inside out. I AM PERFECT… I know this seems so strange to see, when I first heard the words spoken to me I was in shock and full of doubt. I wanted to disagree. How could I be perfect? I struggle daily with sin. I am completely overcome, at times, with guilt and shame for things that I have done, but something inside of me closed my mouth and sealed my lips shut (and for those that know me, this is no easy feat). What I learned that night was a truth that has been hidden away for some time, I believe. I learned I am perfect now.

I have spent much of time, trying to perform the right combination of actions to have God grace me with more, to make me more good, and have come up short. I develop growth plans, and boundary lists, and action plans to beat sins I struggle with, but I constantly fail. I try to become more intimate with God by being good and behaving well and proper, but what I didn’t know, was I can’t get any better. I am going to mess up, and God knows that. He hasn’t put a cap on how far His forgiveness will stretch. My sins are as far as the east is from the west. There is no need for shame and guilt, all is forgiven, I am commanded to love God and love people. If I am doing this with all my heart, my mind and my soul, then I am doing what is most important to my Father.

It is a hard concept to come to terms with. We are perfect, not broken. We have something in us more powerful than Original Sin. We have Original Glory. We were made in God’s image. Christ came to restore this. Just as Adam brought sin into the world, Christ vanquished sin for all those who asked. He removes the evil from within us and gives a new heart. This heart is no longer a heart of stone, but a heart of flesh. It is clean and perfect, and God dwells there. God cannot dwell with evil, so as Christians, there can be no evil in our hearts. When I read this, it was as if God was putting life into me, taking me and breathing into my nostrils as he did Adam. My life, began a long time ago, but I have been walking around in my grave clothes for a long time. I have felt dead, unwanted and unneeded, but this is not the case.

So many of us ask,” why would God use me? I am a mess up.” We look at our lives and we see bad decisions, and sin running rampant in daily life, but what we fail to consider is we are saved by grace. We cannot earn our forgiveness and yet we try. And we fail. Shocker, right? No. Of course we fail, we are humans and still live in our flesh and we ignore our hearts, and the law that has been written in them. We ignore God inside us and we give into the flesh, and then we focus on that. We focus in on this sin that is beating us, and we let it eat us up. We need to live in that freedom. When we truly live in freedom from sin we can thank God and truly love Him. So many times I have struggled with how to love God. I can’t see Him and often I can’t hear Him, but when I think about all He has done for me it becomes easier.

That life I was promised,…I understand it now. It has been right in front of me and I have been blind to it for far too long. My heart is free from trying to be more than it is, because it is the most it can be…PERFECT.

I am indebted to Ron Duncan and John Elderidge for this post. If it weren't for Ron I would have continued to wander aimlessly through my life trying to reconcile my brokenness though repentance and shame, but thanks to him I now THINK DIFFERENTLY.